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Archive for the ‘Henny Youngman’ Category

Because I’m Twelve

Because I sometimes display the maturity of a tween, I would so live to see the Moro Islamic Liberation Front be in the news more often so that news organization would have to show their acronym – MILF – and then watch in horror as the reporters realize what the acronym now means in Net culture.

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…using the elevator to go up or down only one floor will be prohibited.

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…until events like this start happening in the United States, Americans like this (and all others) will be banned from uttering the phrase “War on Christmas”.

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I am celebrating this milestone blog posting by continuing my streak – 500 and growing – of successfully managing to avoid being on WordPress’s “Freshly Pressed” page.

Here’s to 500 more posts of continuing obscurity!

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Interesting to note that had Jake England and Alvin Watts conducted their shooting spree against African-Americans in Florida, instead of Tulsa, Oklahoma, they could have claimed they were “standing their ground” and literally gotten away with murder…like this guy did.

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We interrupt our series of postings on the seven deadly sins (see here and here for previous installments) for his horrible pun.

When my friends and I dress up to reenact the American invasion of Panama in 1989, we call it Operation Just CausePlay.

Told you it was a horrible pun.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled program of sinning.

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…all people who rudely eat and drink while Skyping (or engaging in any other form of video-call conversation) will be forced to endure a 300-slide PowerPoint presentation on the etiqutte of the 21st Century.

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The New Soldiers

After reading various first-hand descriptions of what war and battles, from World War II to the current conflicts in Afghanistan, are really like, I offer these words of wisdom:

The people who can declare war are the people who should fight it.

I’m betting there would be fewer wars.

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Other than the musician Washington, Jr., the anti-tax crusader Norquist, and the Muppet…can you name another Grover?

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A new word for the English language as we enter the End of Days….

Dupesday n, the day predicted as the end of the world so that frightened people can send the predictor all their money; word usually used after predictor has predicted the end of the world multiple times and keeps coming up with excuses as to why the wold continues to be.

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