Wrapping up my string of decade-old journal entries that began on Wednesday, September 12, 2001, comes these words written on Monday, September 17, 2001.
So how do I cope?
Why haven’t I just broken down weeping at the thought of five thousand souls winking out and at the thought of over five thousand family members that will never be the same?
Instead of seeing the attack as some senseless act of undeniable evil, I have tried to understand the motives of the terrorists. This exercise in no way is meant to condone this act. What these people did was horrific and those reposnsible who are still alive should be hunted down and tried for their crimes.
My attempt to understand the motives is my method of coping. By seeing the rationale behind the act, I can identify it, quantify it, and categorize it. By doing this, by seeing this act as rational, yet hideous, I can continue to view the world as rational and under a modicum of control.
Otherwise, if I am wrong, and the world is simply a collection of irrational, unexplainable string of occurrences, then I am already deluding myself and I am already insane.
And that is how I cope.