Posts Tagged ‘zombies’

Day of the (Brain) Dead

I have found StumbleUpon.

That was no big feat in and of itself, but the reason I love this website is that it allows me to revel in the subtitle of my blog. StumbleUpon gives me the ability to celebrate the creativity in randomness, by randomly taking me to websites that I would not find on my own.

So far, I have stumbled upon beautiful photos of space shuttle launches, interactive historical maps, eye-shattering photomanipulations, and I have come across humor that is definitely NSFW (or in my case, being the French flaneur that I am, NSFH [not safe for home]).

However, one stumble that I came across made me pause and decide I needed to write about it.

The United States has a problem with zombies.

Now, I have no problem with the proliferation of creativity that has risen in our culture ever since George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead came out in 1968. Whether it is The Walking Dead (television series or comic book), Marvel Zombies (comic book), Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (book), the Thriller music video, Plants vs Zombies (video game), or any movie ending with “…Dead” (examples here and here and here), it seems you can’t turn anywhere in our mediascape without falling over a dismembered hand or someone shouting “Brrraaaiiinnnsss!”

No, my issue rests with those individuals who do not seem to realize that zombies ARE NOT REAL!

Among other ways, this takes the form of Jonah Ray from The Nerdist podcast going on and on about how real zombies don’t run and how real zombies pass on their zombie-ism, the proliferation of people buying books telling folks how to handle the coming Zombie Apocalypse (such as The Zombie Survival Guide), and people even actually asking the question, “Could zombies be real?”

Zombies are like unicorns, chupacabras, Bigfoot, and the Loch Ness Monster. They do not exist. (You thought I was going to use that old comedic trope and substitute “Loch Ness Monster” for a gag line…like “an honest politician” or “just war”, didn’t you?)

However, StumbleUpon (and you wondered when I would come back to that website) showed me just how far this delusion can take when it displayed for me the first zombie-proof house.

It comes fully equipped with a drawbridge to restrict access and movable walls and windows so that when in full lock-down mode, the house looks like a giant cinder block impervious to all zombie attacks.

Except, of course, that zombies don’t exist.

But if they did, these folk would be safe from the zombie apocalypse because they have no….(yeah, you saw that joke coming, didn’t you?)


Yes, I have to add these people to my list of the (brain) dead. Should one urge them to get an un-life?

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